i was getting happier with my boyfriend and making new friends, back on track with penpal things and working so i came on here way less often... today i got dumped, and i've been dissociating all day. i played some of my favorite game, but otherwise i've just been sitting in bed.. i feel so worthless again. i doubt my vacation will happen now, i can barely get work done, and i don't want to bother my friends anymore. i just want to die. i don't want to be a nuisance to anyone on here or irl or anything in between, i'm so tired of waking up and just being in this body!! i just want to be normal and happy

i luv u all so much ;-; thank u for all the support in my msgs and comments it genuinely means so much compared to the last few months of radio silence from people. more good news !! i finally got out of a toxic thing, found new music i like, took a long shower so i finally washed n deep cleaned my hair, i took some selfies so i could enjoy the way i looked :3 and i told this boy i like him n now we're dating and i'm so jajdkroekakakfntnemwkwk!!!!!!!1!1!1! i cooked twice in two nights, n i think i'm gna make lunch or dinner tonight so i can keep being productive! also read a lil more of my book n decorated my phone case again :D

things r getting the tiniest bit better !! i had a panic attack earlier but actually got to ground myself from it ! a couple friends of mine have reached out to talk to me and one even called me (¯︶¯) my crush has been talking to me constantly, and i was motivated enough to take a bath AND work on stuff, i wanna read more of this book i bought, but i think i only have the energy to cook dinner or read :( but i'll take what i can get! i'm a little scared tomorrow will be horrible or back to the same mess, that this was just a lucky day, but i'm gna ignore my nagging thoughts and just enjoy that it's summer n it's warm n i'm alive and feeling everything. also, i'm so so thankful for the amount of ppl messaging me here or on discord, and commenting supportive things <3 it genuinely means so much and i wish i was brave enough to directly be close friends w all of you