last year my mum wanted me out of the house.

i packed my bags.

i was ready to leave.

my dad came to my mums and told me to stay.

so i did.

i made a joke today.

because i couldn't go to my partners house.

i said my mum was homophobic.

and was i lying?

really?

i remember trying to buy a jacket from the mens section a couple years back.

she called me unlovable.

unable to be loved.

that id die alone.

she called me words i will not write here.

and it still stings.

i dreamt about running away again.

i got further than before.

but.

something always stops me.

does my mother really love me?

there's something human and alive about love.

no matter what kind of love it is.

and maybe i am afraid.

of losing the love you have for me.

and maybe my heart is a little scared.

of being loved.

of everything.

but.

i'll keep loving you.

I've gotten 3 of my exams back!!!

I passed 2!!

The one I didnt pass was history but I dont really mind history is really hard.

I have a biology assignment I'm gonna try and finish tonite so i can go to my partner's house tomorrow!

m gonna do so great!!!

WOWOWOWOWOOWOOOO

was my english exam

probably didnt write enough but tbh i dont give a shit

im going through some stuff.

feel incredibly guilty and like my life's spiralling out and i cant catch it.

how are we?

i'm alright. got exams next week so im buried up to my neck in readings and studying.

miss my partner a lot.

tell me, how are you all feeling?

(:

im going to hell lmao.

thursdays are my favourite days

my wrist's really sore, but i honestly dont care.

i liked it anyway.

maybe a bit more than they did.

my partner and my friends went to get high
i didnt go mostly because i have exams and my mum would cut my flesh from my bones.
bbut i am fucking terrified about whats gonna happen to them i cant lose them.

my hands are shaking and my bones hurt

help

WOOOOOO