soooo well i just told my father that i have literally no motivation to learn and i really dont care about my future (and that depression may be its reason) and i dont think hes happy with it but hey, maybe if you stopped calling me my deadname and not giving a fuck about my problems id feel better bitch

well basically because nobody here knows me irl, ill vent here. if someone is interested and will want to see new, lets say, chapters, then just look at the news, my diary will be always titled "diary??[chapter's name]"

so well start with the thing, that fucking pissed me of lately. my parents... well, they arent strict, theyre pretty cool for most of the time, but when it comes to my sexuality or the fact that i want to change my name, theyre horrible.
well, right after i came out as bi, my dad said "you know, i dont have a problem with that, BUT i think that youre bi just because of the LGBT trend", so i didnt have a huge expectations, but i still felt really bad.
i never liked my deadname, but when i discovered that im nonbinary, it started to hurt even more, so i thought that my parents would understand that i want to be called Ash. and you know what? they fucking didnt. my mom literally said "you know, youll always be our little [deadname] for us", and when i ran to my room, crying, she tried to convince me to stop crying while using my deadname. i just feel so. fucking. bad.