so... how do i um edit the background and text of the blog and the background color of the All About Me box cuz i really have no idea what in the world im doing lmao

I can't stop crying. I don't know why. I was just staring at my screen and broke down. I tried to talk with my friends, hoping they'd help me feel better, but they only made it worse. I can't talk to the person who truly helps me because whatever relationship we had slowly deteriorated over the course of 2 1/2 weeks. He's become distant and rude. I can't say good morning anymore without him telling me to shut up, die, or to go fuck myself. I just miss how we were. We'd talk everyday about everything. And now I can't say one word without him making it seem like he genuinely hates me. The last 10 months I've been the only one there for him. I've been the only one he trusted to talk about how he was feeling with. I took care of him mentally and yet in return I get nothing but hatred. I've recently been tossed into a really bad situation where I could be potentially kicked out and I told him about it. All he did was make jokes. I risked so much for him and this is how he repays me. I'm not saying I expect some big gesture, but some human decency would've sufficed. I'm almost 100% sure he means it all as a joke, but he doesn't understand the toll it takes on me. I haven't said anything to him about it because I'm afraid I might deserve it in some aspects, but I still want it to end. I can't keep doing this. The other day it seemed like no one wanted anything to do with me and I just cried. I saw myself in the mirror and I couldn't stop laughing. I hated it, but I couldn't stop. The tears nor the laughter stopped for almost over an hour. I genuinely can't do this anymore. I'm so scared and tired. Also, apparently sharing emotions with the public is "creepy" and "annoying" so I'm sorry if I overshared I just needed to say all this.

I've been thinking about it and I think over spring break I'm just not going to talk to my supposed "friends". I want to stay in a positive mindset and they don't really help with that to be completely honest. I'm almost 100% sure I'll lose a couple friends in the process of doing so, but this is just for my own mental health. I just want to be away from everyone. And I mean everyone. I need a break from forcing myself to like others and acting like they haven't made me feel worthless. I'm probably going to just be around my aunt as much as I possibly can(she's the most non-judgmental, straight-up, person I know that I genuinely feel safe enough around to let my guard down). I apologize for not being so active, but it's gonna be like that for a while. A lot of stuff is happening in my life (family, friends, school, etc..), so I don't exactly feel like logging on daily like I normally would. Again, I apologize, but I'll be back soon I assume. I love all of you very much. You're all very sweet and the ones that have tried to befriend/conversate w me have been incredibly sweet and chill. Fuck you, Andrew. Screw you, Jiko. You can suck my dick, Eli. And everyone else who's an asshole can honestly rot in hell. Anyways... I hope you have an amazing day, please stay safe. <3