I keep posting these so far apart! I just randomly gain the motivation to write out my thoughts so that's why this is so all over the place. I saw a fox while I was walking my dog tonight which was really nice! I live in a big city so it's so rare to see wild animals and I get so excited when I do! I've been thinking about moving a lot and I'm very excited to re set my life. I've been feeling stuck recently so I think if I cut out the people who are currently in my life things will go a lot better for me. I can't really cut any of them out until I move though because it would be kind of uncomfortable seeing them but it's ok I just gotta stay for four more months! I seriously cannot wait, it's gonna be fantastic. I think I'll miss my dog when I go though, he's so important to me and has been the main thing fixing my mental health. Unfortunately he has to stay here though. In other news I've been looking for some more show suggestions. I'm one of those people who can't find any shows as good as their favorite show so they just keep re watching the same thing in a loop. Don't get me wrong.... I still love my favorite show I'm just on like round 30 of watching it and need a change of pace. Ok that's all I have going on right now since covid isn't really allowing me to do anything.
Thanks For Reading!!

-Marty <3

I've never really liked new years. I can't tell you why but it's always just been underwhelming for me. I don't think this year is gonna fully end until COVID ends. We've all lost so much and are still grieving if it's the death of a loved one or even if we just didn't get to see our friends throughout the pandemic. I had almost every negative thing I thought could happen happen to me this year and it's crazy I made it out. On the 31st I did have a moment of realization and hope though. Back in April my cat died, I had her for 14 years she was my best friend and extremely important to me. I took her death extremely hard and relapsed. I often go for walks at night as a stress reliever and ever since my cat died I've seen a rabbit every night I was feeling extremely depressed. A few days ago I saw a rabbit and it just stared at me for five minutes. I went home and googled the significance of seeing rabbits and it said that they represent comfort and family. I started crying when I read that because even though I don't really believe in signs from the universe or spirituality but I feel a deep connection to these rabbits for some reason. I feel like my dead cat is reaching out to me. It might just be my mind scrambling for any shred of comfort in these terrible times but even if it is it's nice to have that as a little bit of comfort.
Thanks for reading :)
-Marty <3

So it looks like I was correct and I forgot about this for a while! I've been busy with school work so I guess that makes sense. Anyways though I did spend a little time learning how to make my page look more interesting but in all honesty I kinda like the plain look. I feel like it fits my vibes (maybe that just means I'm boring) but I don't know. This is my last week before the break so maybe I'll write more of these over the next two weeks. I still don't think I want to make anything of this other than to write out my thoughts in an interesting way, I also don't know if the people who are friends with me on here actually read these but if you are hi hope you're having a good day! I haven't found very many people who write blog posts on here and I'm not sure why! It's very relaxing and I'd love to read about what others have going on in their lives! Anyways I'm only writing this right now because I don't want to work on my assignment so I will go do that.
Thanks for reading!
-Marty <3

I'm not sure if I am going to continue doing this, I also don't really want anyone to find it but maybe I can use it as a venting tool? I am not sure, knowing me I will forget about this in a few days. Anyways if you do stumble across my page hi! My name is Marty and I am a very dramatic person so I will be venting a lot probably. I've been having issues in my friend group recently, I feel like I no longer fit in with them. I am moving very far away next year and I think they kind of resent me for it. I can't stay here anymore though because I need to get away from my family. I might be reading into things too much (I do that very often) but it feels like they're edging me out and I don't think I am a part of their journeys as people anymore. I'm not gonna make new friends this year I mean why would I if I'm just gonna leave? I guess I'm really just looking for a way to cope with all of this because there's been so much stress in my life from other things and I really don't wanna deal with losing my friends too. I HATE that I tell myself they're gonna leave me but I can't help it...it just makes sense. Anyways one good thing in my life is that I will be one year clean in 7 days! I'm really proud of myself for progressing this far :) I wanted to do a little celebration with my friends but when I suggested it they didn't really care so maybe I'll just make myself a cake or something idk. Ok I think that's enough for a first blog post! Let's see how things progress with this and if I try and make my page look better ! <3