https://data.whicdn.com/images/340287037/original.gif

time seems to pass slow- and slower when you aren't around. searching for sunshine in the darkness only to find you. Golden and amazing, and more than i could ever need- more than i could ever want, but i find myself- in the dark- wanting. missing you even with each interaction, knowing they will too quickly come to an end.

https://i.imgur.com/Qvyh3DS.gif

So I think I'm officially depressed for the first time ever. I've never felt this broken, like ever. Which is fun for sure. My doctor upped my prescription for the meds I take, which were originally prescribed for anxiety, so they aren't really doing anything. So she also decided to refer me to a psychiatrist! woooo. but that's gonna take a while, so I'm on a waiting list and it'll probably be a month before I even see a person for the first time, which my doctor says will likely just be a one time consultation but if I'm in the same headspace as I am now I'm not so sure they won't just. keep me. though that's probably super dramatic. I'm not that unstable but sometimes it feels like it. I won't ask for help but I probably need it, but I'm not sure what I would even ask for. I'm only even saying anything now because I'm pretty sure no one is going to read it, I'm actually counting on it.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/95/4a/64/954a645617535af4595ff2edda96f30f.gif

So!!! thanks for checking in- i do in fact hate it here. My school sucks- really sucks. At the beginning of the year they decided that the students who wanted to take AP Language and French 3 were just going to get screwed over, bc theres only one (1) AP Language class and only one (1) French 3 and for SOME REASON they just HAD to be at the exact same time. for the whole year. So they forced the group of 6-7 of us (in a school of roughly 500 students- less than 100 in our class alone) to take the AP course online, while the rest of our classes are in person. Yes- in a pandemic my school elected to have in person classes. Full time. Let me tell you that the online course??? total bs. No communication and the website itself is so poorly designed and not user friendly- the course doesn't break for holidays and its ridiculously stressful and the teacher doesn't care about the students at all. Even better- the 6-7 of us aren't even all in the same online class- they SPLIT US UP. Now, the school was dumb enough to have us in person, and guess what?! we got a positive case, multiple actually bc some dumbasses decided to come in while waiting for test results. Shut down the school and now we're remote until at LEAST January 10th. Anyway thats my rant, i hate English (despite it previously being my best and favorite academic subject) and I hate my school. Which sucks extra bc my dads on the school board. Enjoy the gif

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧
for my dnd character!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4EDDaCFb0DObeSZ2CZS0Hp?si=8f4JQ6vXR-ehFvRqN6LFpw
✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧
https://art.pixilart.com/f41c0af36fce390.gif