I feel so empty and angry and sad. i hate so many things about myself. How i look and how much i overthink are the bulk of it. I'm not suicidal, but I'm severely depressed. I don't know why i'm not suicidal, because i think that at this point it would only be natural. Although I'm very grateful that I'm not suicidal. I was out with my friends today and i kept overthinking every little look and every word and every little action. I feel embarrassed by whatever i do. I want to live underneath a rock and disappear whenever I'm in a social situation. I want to explode and implode all at once. I've been feeling such an overwhelming amount of anxiety and that translates into severe depression. I just want to feel normal. That doesn't mean not sad. It means not ambitiously anxious and depressed. I know what it feels like and i know i could be there. I think that i will be there eventually. But it feels so far away and i want to feel normal now. I feel like I'm stuck in the bottom of a really really deep and dark hole in the ground and i can't get out.

hello fwiends!! I have a lot of thoughts that I don't really process properly and putting out my thoughts into the wide universe of the internet helps me to do that. so that's what i'll be doing. Nothing special but i hope anybody that stumbles upon my page enjoys it! messages and questions and things are very welcome so long as they are kind ofc. also feel free to start discussions and stuff below my posts or just in general. I'm open to discussing anything so long as the discussion is respectful and everyone is open to others' ideas an such. Thanks for reading cu later!! <3