life is strange

It's been a while, again. Some of friends on here probably don't even use this site anymore but I needed to write this down somewhere.
I've been at the mental hospital for 28 days for suicidal thoughts. I have to admit, being there really helped me but.. but going back to real world seems so weird and gray. It's so depressing. I started self harming on visible spots because at this point I'm not sure if this is real or not. So what if they notice? I'm gonna go away soon anyway.
I was thinking about making this my last blog. I don't think I'll be back. Maybe if I do survive but who knows. Maybe in few months I'll log in and say how finally happy I am.
This is kinda my safe place to vent and truly be myself. I didn't make any friends on here so I'm happy that if one day I just disappear no one will remember me. I'm getting tired. I guess meds kicked in.

Goodbye, for now.

-M