~Boys do cry~

-I'm caught in my own feelings listening to boys don't cry by the cure. I've always said I want to skateboard around town listening to the cure, and I live by that lmao.

-I feel like everyone is having a really hard day today, that includes me. I posted about starting T on my facebook, and got so many amazing comments. I knew my mom wouldn't say anything about it tho cuz she doesn't fully support me, or at least the physical changes that I know of. I think she still sees me as her "little girl" blehh... She did bring up not replying anything, and she said she's proud of me, but I think she just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I kind of see it as the puberty I was supposed to go through, and that it comes completely natural to me for this process to happen.

-She brought up my brother bringing a friend over while he's visiting her out of state, and this person was trans without her knowing. I mean, obviously you don't know. That's the whole god damn point. But anyway, she said she adored this person and it gave her an insight on my transition? So I'm really lost on if she'll support me, maybe she just needs more information on the subject.

-When I called her I spoke to her honestly about having a conversation in the future on the subject of me transitioning so I can educate her. It was a little awkward bringing it up, but I guess I thought I wouldn't have to go in-depth on my transition with anyone.

-Maybe I was being selfish and only thinking about how it would affect me and not others, so I never had the thought cross my mind. I've had a toxic relationship with someone who didn't support it either, but that's kinda off of the subject cuz I cut them out of my life and I feel much happier now. I don't want to have to cut out my mom as well, I kinda already did that with my twin brother a few weeks ago :/

-I started journaling, I keep trying different things to keep me in check and feeling productive, although so far I dropped all of the tools I've been using and trying other things. I hope this one sticks cuz so far I can't keep my attention on anything.

-I guess the best part of my day is hanging out with my dog and cuddling my elephant stuffie. Oh and watering my plants.