just a vent

i dont really show any emotion anymore and i enjoy the dark and how it caresses everything in it's reach. I think it was when i started to grow fond of the cold that i realized that dark wasnt so bad after all. i dont get much sleep but for me not much is needed anymore, neither is food, i think i adapted to not giving myself anything that my body is just used to everything now. I love pain so much and i could never find out why. Whenever i show emotion no matter what it is i feel selfish for no reason. i just dont feel human anymore, but who said that was a bad thing anyway.