i dreamt about running away again...

last year my mum wanted me out of the house.

i packed my bags.

i was ready to leave.

my dad came to my mums and told me to stay.

so i did.

i made a joke today.

because i couldn't go to my partners house.

i said my mum was homophobic.

and was i lying?

really?

i remember trying to buy a jacket from the mens section a couple years back.

she called me unlovable.

unable to be loved.

that id die alone.

she called me words i will not write here.

and it still stings.

i dreamt about running away again.

i got further than before.

but.

something always stops me.

does my mother really love me?