1-poem+comentary

I will like to talk about the...poem? text? from my about me section.
i might delete it later and fill the thing properly, it goes like this:

I hate action
i am pure bottled passion and rage
yearning for love or murder, not because they matter but because I yearn to feel
i hate action
i lack stimulus
nothing matters
i could do anything i want
but i hate action
not because of fear
i do not feel fear
fear prevents death
i am not afraid of it
so I say i hate action
that is the only explanation
i love being still
i love being useless
knowing i could be everything
i could do everything
i am a god
I COULD be a god
but i hate action
everything just stays on my mind
forever
almost inexistent
do not love nor hate
me
it does not matter
nothing matters
if all I am are my thoughts
am I real real
i do not act
am i something?
i am a god
a still god
i hate action
but I love people who act
who act without a care
who understand that nothing matters
because nothing does
or maybe I hate them
envy?
i just feel
something
i do not act because i do not know how
i am a villain
i can do anything
i love villains
i feel
i should not
why do i feel
i do not want to
stop
yes I am useless but only because
i hate action
i hate action
i can do anything
i just do not want to
I WILL NEVER TRY
i love people who do
or hate
I feel
i am a god
but what is a god
nothing matters
right?
but
but
but
i am a god
of,,,,
what?
i also write
i like writing

I kinda like it
I also came up with it in the spot
also I like that I used capital "I" when referring to myself when I told the truth honest to myself.
I wanted to call it " I hate action" or just "action"
but now I guess it looks better as "<<god>>" in a sarcastic way, I am still not sure
is that poetry? i do not know, i dont think poetry HAS to rhyme right? i never use rhymes, i like the,,,rawness?

I have always been ambitious and cold.
I have pretended to be the opposite for most of my life in order to mantain a social life, which i kinda had but i never was honest so i do not know how real humans connections feel like.
however now, i dont even know which of my feelings are real and which ones fake.
ive lied too much, i do not even know how i feel
however there is only one thing clear
success

i need to be the best an everything
i have always have been
since i was a kid
i guess its just the ex gifted kid burnout sindrome
i have this massive ego
i feel like i can do anything
and then there is my inexistent self steem
i hate myself
and everything i am and everything i am not

i am almighty
but also useless
so i tell myself
"sure i can do that, but i wOnt"
because i also have a niihilist/existencialist/absurdist (depends of my mood tbh) stubborn ass
"oh i could but nothing matters and i dont feel like it right now"

and i feel or too strongly or i am constantly numb
i started to feel sarcastically, mocking other girls
then i started doing it on a daily basis
now its part of me
i guess
but deep down i have nothing

i am a god
i am useless
there is only a void
i am a god, an useless one, that rules the void

and to be honest i got lost halfway there, i do not know what i am talking about (again)
if you read everything, just know that you carry a part of my (increidbly important but after all inexistent) soul

https://dl.glitter-graphics.com/pub/184/184475y66x8elc3k.gif