romanticizing life

now that i'm feeling more mentally stable, i've been thinking about ways to "retake" my early teenage years. i grew up in a very misogynistic household, and that caused internalized issues i'm trying to get rid of. those two issues sort of clashed and now i'm left in the aftermath. i think romanticizing my life will help me a lot with enjoying life the way i used to as a child. i want to be very feminine, and it's taken a bit to realize this. i used to deny wanting this because i didn't want to feed into the male gaze, and to express myself as its 'expected'. it doesn't have to be that way and i'm so happy to finally realize that. i love the color pink, i get excited about makeup and simple things like small animals, i want to spend half my day at the mall, and i love dressing up for pictures. i'm finally feeling happy with my life and who i am and i send my love to those working for this as well<3