The man behind the slaughter

I dunno what I was thinking,
Leaving my child behind,
Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind

With all this anger, guilt and sadness,
Coming to haunt me forever,
I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river,

Is this revenge I am seeking,
Or seeking someone to avange me
Stuck in my own paradox I wanna set myself free

Maybe I should chase and find
before they'll try to stop it
It won't be long before I'll become a puppet

It's been so long,
Since I last have seen my son
lost to this monster
to the man behind the slaughter

Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother

I wish I lived in the present
With the gift of my past mistakes
But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes

Your sweet little eyes, your little smile,
is all I remember
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper

Justification is killing me
But killing isn't justified
What happened to my son, I'm terrified

It lingers in my mind and the thought keeps on getting bigger,
I'm sorry my sweet baby, I wish I've been there.

It's been so long,
Since I last have seen my son
lost to this monster
to the man behind the slaughter

Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother