skateboarding

i low-key wanna learn how to skateboard but i feel like i'd look kinda fucking stupid if i did,,, i suck at that kind of stuff and i'm also autistic and i can't tell when i look like an idiot when i try to do stuff,,,, and then when i realize it later it's too late and now i will never stop thinking about it
also,,,, skateboards are expensive???????? and i am broke and im looking at them on amazon and pining for a good one but capitalism always fucks shit up and they are like 200$
anyways if anyone reading this happens to skateboard hmu i need some help with starting out 😔😔😔😔😔😔