Welp another vent

so always when i fall in love i fall hard.
there was this guy I used to be in love for four years from my old class(aswell as my current since we got into the same school)and when I confessed to him and he rejected me i felt nothing a little bit of sadness but it was something i neeeded.
There was another guy i liked from scouts (in my country we have mixed boys n' girls shit and ya know in scouts)and i fell for him three years again when i confessed to him through instagram he said we're living too far from eachother and even though i felt things for him he started to ignore me and i just started to not like him.
there was this girl from my current class,i immediately fell for her and i loved her so much but then i confessed to her couple of times(bc majoroty of the times i said it was na prank)and when i said i wrote a song for her she said that she doesn't really like me.tbh this one hurt the most but now again im set with another challenge
now it's a mcyt-tommyinnit and the problem is i really can't ask him to reject me or ignore him since his face is all over my tik tok,youtube and even pinterest and i keep thinking about him and i thought even about contacting him somehow but idk now i have an obssession,alot of my dreams include him and i really can't stop thinking about him

also come to think of it if i stop liking him theres another guy and after that guy would be a girl if my theory that there's a scheme of me falling in love with certian people
but i get crushes on alot of people and you know
also if tommy would get a partner(becouse we are not sure if he's gay or not)i would be mad i would respect his relatioship with someone else tthat is not me

anyways bye bye
hope not so many people would see this