2021/05/24 !TW ED/SH MENTIONS AND TALK

hi lol, it's been a while since i last was active on here but i'll try to be on here more often from now on :)
so far i've finally turned 15, i got my own laptop, keyboard, monitor and mouse! i'm still saving up for a pc since a laptop is'n enough for the games i want to play lol, i'm trying to learn more about coding and how different pc parts work too! i think i might want to work with more technical stuff (especially coding) like my dad! he works a lot with building and coding different things and i've been getting more interested in that!
the google account connected to ALL my school work disappeared like a week ago tho so i can't do ANY of the school stuff i've missed, BUT for once i actually talked to a teacher about it and she said she'd send out some google support mails in hopes of being able to fix it.
now to mental health lol it's gotten a little better (especially since i started watching the dream smp and reading the maze runner books, they've like helped to keep me sane and have me focus on that instead of constantly thinking of how bad everything actually is) sure i've relapsed in both my ed and sh, i'll try to stay clean from now on though since i really want to be able to wear a dress to the last day of school and i want the scars to be as invisible as possible but my ed i don't really care about i mean i feel more confident and i talk more when have bad ed episodes for some reason. it's probably just me thinking i get more beautiful from it and that's why i feel more confident.

!SUPER TW WEIGHT, HEIGHT AND BMI!
i mean sure i've grown taller but that doesn't mean i'll make my ugw higher lmao like i'm 169cm tall but just because i was 163cm tall when i put my gw as a bmi of 17/45kg and ugw as a bmi of 15/40kg doesn't mean i'll put it as the same bmi and make them a higher weight. like my bmi rn is around 17 and i'm STILL not thin so why should i put my gw and ugw higher???? i just hope i don't d!e since my gw would make my bmi 15.8 and my ugw would make it like 14 lmaoooo i'm still committed though, i WILL reach at LEAST 15 just to see how it feels.