kinda serious vent TW

I've always dealt with depression and anxiety, but lately it's gotten so bad.
Like im so touch starved, hugging my family doesnt work anymore, I wanna hug my friends so bad but cant and havent for a year.
This year by far has been one of the most awful years of my life. So much so that everyday gets harder, i can barely get out of bed a lot of the time. Or remember to take my vitamins, or shower, or do anything at all but be in bed all day. My legs feel so weak, and I keep forgetting to drink water, its been so hard. I've never wanted to commit no alive more than now, but I wont bc i love my family and the few friends I have. So Im not gonna, but it is tempting :((

Its like my brain is on fire 24/7 lmao, idk what im meant to do. Anyways im okay sorta.

anyways hang in there guys, even though it seems awful and feels like ur constantly suffering, it'll get better. I promise

-love, angel