How to fish
So I guess that there are a lot of people out there who don't know how to fish. Therefore I have decided to create a fishing masterclass here on myspace. My hope is that by the end of it you will all have the confidence and know-how needed to embark on your own fishing adventures! :)
/ Nah Dude
(Recommended music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1zwAXClAJQ)
How to Fish
Now, when most people hear the word "fishing" the first that will probably pop into their heads is rods and fishing gear. This is stupid and supports a capitalistic lifestyle of excess consumption. Much smarter, and much cooler, is to grab the fish with your hand and shake it around until it submits, as follows:
https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/cb/Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-28.jpg/aid436635-v4-728px-Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-28.jpg
The ancient manly-ass fish-shaking technique:
Step 1: Grab fish
Step 2: Shake it around or bang it against some dirt
If you're not comfortable grabbing fish though, there's another technique that never fails:
The ancient "Ha! fuck you fish you're in a bucket! >:D" technique:
https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/f8/Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-17.jpg/aid436635-v4-728px-Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-17.jpg
Step 1: Take two buckets
Step 2: Scoop up the fish into the buckets
Step 3: Find someone who will shake the fish for you
And it's as easy as that
If being that close to fish still bothers you there's one final ancient and fundamental technique that, although a bit stupid, can be used:
Fishing with a rod like a pussy:
https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/73/Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-6.jpg/aid436635-v4-728px-Fish-Without-Fishing-Gear-Step-6.jpg
Step 1: Tie some string to a stick
Step 2: Dip the string in water and wait until a fish bites it
Step 3: [VERY IMPORTANT!!!]
Don't shake the fish around with the rod! Regardless of what you've learned thus far!
Instead, stop being a bitch and grab the fish with your hand and shake it like a real man! >:)
That's how you fish. See you next time when we will learn how to catfish
The only thing that I didn't understand - do I need to shake fish before or after it dies?
So, I followed your guide and grabbed a fish. But instead of dying it looked at me and said: "stop pls" and I had no other choice but let it go, so I threw it away. Nice guide though!!!! I rate it 10 eel slaps out of 10
depends on how slow the fish you're about to catch are. For example this guide will work great on store bought fish that's already dead. Definitely recommend if u want to guarantee that you'll catch something. Also works with fishsticks 👍
wait, so this isn't a real guide????
Agree! Thank you ^^
thx, slesiac! :D Yea, it can be a challenge to stay motivated when it doesn't bite, but if you allow yourself to just enjoy the moment it becomes a very relaxing experience! You definately should try it sometime! Life only get's richer when we try new stuff! :)
Wow i really like your blog, it's so funny and interesting. I would love to learn to fish one day, seems so relaxing, but it sure takes patience as well
Why did I really think this was a real guide to fishing
idk I was thinking we might just play some club penguin instead since grading exams is hard work. Ofc saying random quotes would always be appreciated but I’d probably just give everyone an A in fishing anyway so it wouldn’t be obligatory
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
PS
Will this be on the final exam?