Vacuum cleaners

My name is justin bieber and I'm sexually attracted to vacuum cleaners.

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I've always enjoyed them so this past week i decided to get a cheap old vacuum with some cheap air filters and try it out in my bedroom. I put some air into the top of the vacuum and it felt good, but in no way did it make any noise. After 5 minutes or so in the bedroom it started to blow out of my legs and fell back on the carpet, so I removed the air filter and put it back in. 5 minutes later the same thing happened and started blowing out my crotch. Immediately, I put the tube down as i was thinking of it, I put some water on it to try and clean it up but it started to go and spread all over the bed and other areas.

I decided to get back to work so I took it to the bathroom and had the water running to take the tube out, I waited 15 to 20 minutes to see if the water would have a strong scent on it, and while i was doing this I heard a loud sound and then after 15 to 20 more minutes the water level in the tub fell dramatically,I finally took a look inside the tub, and to my surprise there was a dead spider in it,it was a big spider,and even the silk underneath it was covered in blood...I was scared and really wanted to get my clothes away from me but i wanted to make sure this wasn't a spider.

I called the police and they told me the only way to know was to have some kind of specialist look at the tube,and I went to a couple of spiders specialists. I couldn't find any sign of any kind of blood, but the experts at the lab found that the spider had been dead for a very long time.I've always been fascinated by spiders, and they always make me think of the creatures that inhabit the underworld which is what i find all so interesting about them.